Healing cannot be rushed, it comes in its own time
Lent provides a time for reflection and spiritual growth. We can slow down and examine our lives. Well, supposed to slow down. Not a reality I know, unfortunately. It is also a season to remember those who died. We honor their impact on us. Grief and Lent share a deep connection. Both ask us to reflect and seek hope in sorrow. This is second nature to me not particularly because I am morose but because my father died when I was a child and I process death differently.
During Lent we are reminded that life is fragile and loss is real. Ash Wednesday reminds us, “You are dust, and to dust you shall return.” This truth can feel heavy for those who have lost loved ones. Yet, Lent offers reflection, prayer, and remembrance instead of despair.
Lent is a season for inward reflection. It also lets us look back and remember. Spouses, Parents, petrs, friends, and mentors shape our lives. They leave behind love, wisdom, and faith. Their presence lingers in our hearts. Their lessons shape us and their love enchant us.
One way to honor them during Lent is through prayer. Praying for deceased loved ones is an old Church tradition. We express thanks for their lives. We ask for their help and trust them to God’s care. Set aside time to remember them in prayer. Thank God for how they shaped your faith.
Sharing their stories is another way to honor them. Grief can feel lonely, but stories keep memories alive. Share a lesson they taught you. Tell a funny story or a kind memory. This keeps their spirit alive during Lent.
Visiting graves is a cherished tradition for many people. During Lent, it gains even greater significance. Cemeteries offer sacred spaces for reflection. They help us connect with our past and life’s fleeting nature. We also find hope in the promise of resurrection.
At a gravesite, we recall Christ’s journey to the cross. His suffering allows us to hope beyond death. Visiting a cemetery during Lent promotes reflection. It helps us enter the season’s solemnity. Death is not the end.
Lent starts with sacrifice but leads to a great promise. That promise is Christ’s resurrection. Good Friday’s sorrow becomes Easter’s joy. It reminds us death is not final.
This promise offers comfort to those who grieve. Jesus conquered death, assuring our resurrection. Our loved ones are with God. They await reunion with us in eternal life.
This Lent, remember those who died before us. Let their lives inspire you. Embrace the season’s hope, not just the sorrow. In Christ, loss leads to everlasting life.
Still, grief is a process and we cannot rush it and we are so very human.
There are several recorded incidents where Jesus withdrew seeking solitude and solace.
The best way to learn about the value of solitude is from Jesus’ life. We’re fortunate that the Bible records a number of times when Jesus separated himself from people. In looking through these we can see there were 6 different reasons I can deduce as to why Jesus spent time alone and I realize it is through my interpretation.
6 Reasons Jesus Chose Solitude Over People
- To prepare for a major task Luke 4:1-2, 14-15. After Jesus was baptized. He spent 40 days praying in the wilderness. After this, He was tempted by Satan and then began His public ministry.
- To recharge after hard work Mark 6:30-32. Jesus sent the 12 disciples out to do ministry. When they returned He encouraged them to separate from the people who were following them to rest.
- To work through grief Matthew 14:1-13. After Jesus learned that his cousin John the Baptist had been beheaded, He went away by Himself. Yes, even the Son of God grieves.
- Before making an important decision Luke 6:12-13. Early in His ministry, Jesus spent the whole night alone in prayer. The next day He chose his 12 disciples.
- In a time of distress Luke 22:39-44. Hours before Jesus was arrested He went to the Mount of Olives and went a short distance away from His disciples to pray. He was in great emotional agony knowing what he was about to face.
- To focus on prayer Luke 5:16. Many times in Jesus’ ministry He spent time alone in prayer.
On grief, consider John the Baptist’s beheading by Herod.
Jesus, our perfect Shepherd, models how to handle loss. Scripture shows that grief processing is vital. Some were told to skip mourning for a prophetic cause. Yet, the norm is to allow grief its space. If we accept that our Shepherd was a perfect model in all things (and I do!) then this is a model for dealing with sorrow and loss. John the Baptist is one of my favorite people in the Bible so it resonates strongly
Time spent in solitude with God is not time spent alone
Solitude can benefit us greatly if we use that time to sort through with the Father whatever is on our minds and in our hearts. Think about your day and plan to carve out some time to spend alone with the Father. Don’t rush past sorrow. Society urges us to look on the bright side. We push ourselves and others to hurry up. But speeding past pain is not healthy or helpful. Time alone won’t heal all wounds. Still, it is needed for healing.
There is no quick fix for a broken heart. Rushing grief only lets it fester. It doesn’t erase or truly forget the pain. Sitting with sorrow takes time and energy. But every moment brings fruit. Jesus said a seed must die to bear fruit. (John 12:24) Grieving is a type of death. That is why we avoid it. There is even much more pain when one feels like a soulmate is gone and a big part of their identity and meaning of life (yes a bit of drama) is gone. This gets compounded during the first events or any special events especially when a spouse of 40 years or a pet of 16 years passes (not exclusively of course).
Think of loved ones who have died. What did they give to your life? How did you feel at their death? Today, honor your losses. Honor them in any way you feel will help you heal. Don’t rush past sadness. Instead, slow down and feel your emotions. Sit with Jesus in your sorrow. Let loss do its eternal work in your soul. Pray. Share memories and laughter with loved ones.
So often those of us who have wounded hearts are pushed by ourselves, by friends and family, and by a “look on the bright side” society to rush past our sorrow and sadness. But that is not only futile, it’s unhealthy. Very unhealthy and perhaps insensitive to say to someone grieving. There is no map. No timeline and everything is personal and individual. Honour that even if people do not.
While time, by itself, does not heal all wounds. Time is a necessary component of healing.
Jesus said, “Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (John 12: 24)
I can only imagine my loved ones smiling and happy in the afterlife. That brings me joy!