My remarks for my husband’s 40th day Memorial prayer held Dec 29, 2024.
Thank you all for coming to pray and honor my beloved husband, my King, and the King of all our hearts. A son of Achach, a son of Canada and loyal husband, a son, son-in-law, brother, uncle, brother-in-law, friend, and devoted father to Gabby so that we can acknowledge and share in our pride and joy and the gift his life was to all and the deep pain his passing brings and to wish him Bon voyage into his first day in Eternity, My baby’s first birthday in eternity. I chose a celebration as he loved parties and opening gifts, rubbing his hands, and getting excited like a kid. It is why I have all the novelty favours.
Thank you Bousamra for the lovely mass and Jad for all your help and to my little family with powerful prayers, so much support and love. Thank you, cousin Laura for your respect for Fufu, for his friends from work, and those abroad for Masses, his aunts in Miziara, and his relatives in Achach. The Hon Peter Fragiskatos for flowers and texts and Visa assistance. Special to Nirvana for all the heavy lifting in this difficult time and the beauty of her soul. More than a daughter. Moose – for the cutout picture, brother for music (he had surgery on Dec 24th and is unable to join us). To the entire Eddy Mjally family for their devoted support from abroad Nicole who is so special. My sister for the floral arrangements and cheesecake and my brother-in-law for the tableware and custom angel wings and drive-abouts.
That life sized cutout does not do him justice. He is still the most handsome man in the world ever born to me. In the Christmas season, we are reminded of Christ’s birth and coming so that whosoever believes in him shall never die but have everlasting life.
He was in his fifties when he passed unexpectedly with no warning signs on Monday, Nov 18th. I spoke about my Dad at the Visitation but you didn’t hear much about my mom because if I read it, I would not be able to continue. My mother was an amazing woman. She was widowed younger than me (at 47) and my father passed younger than Fufu (at 51) but she remained loyal and devoted to him and she is my shero, I will do the same. She was a master fundraiser and devout to charities like St Vincent de Paul and Strong! I inherited some of her traits.
Soulmates isn’t a strong enough word for Fufu’s and my bond. Marriage is a covenant for us Catholics and when it says the two shall become one. Our souls did – not just as soulmates but as inseparable eternal soulmates. We hit the jackpot for each other. I was asked to tell you more about him so here goes. But before that reflect a tad on these.
Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking and expecting nothing in return.
Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh I am who I am. I exist and I always existed
How to enter the Kingdom of God
The words of our Lord – Who do you say I am – When I broke the five loaves of bread and two small fish, how many breadcrumbs did you take? Do you love me? What have you done to show this?
God’s two great commandments. I will fluctuate between was and is and I will explain why.
He was a gentleman. He was generous and loving. He was compassionate and caring. He was the love of my life and will be the love of my life until the day we meet again. He loved to laugh and joke around. Loved to goof around. He loved warm bath towels and had a tall stack of towels, and we wondered what each was used for. He loved salads, large square plates, beer, and champagne for special occasions. Family gatherings, ice cream. He was a die-hard Arsenal fan and a soccer fan in general. Boston Celtics fan in Larry Bird’s days. Yeah, we are old. He could always be found at the Coliseum during our many trips to Rome. He was mesmerized by it. He loved watching Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, and many shows on Britbox. We recorded shows and watched them together. Then again, we did everything together. From day 1. He loved Magic shows, and comedies. Cheers, and the character Sam Malone. He had a weird liking for old dollar bills and coins with odd dates – we have a stack. I worked on Wall Street and during many back-and-forth trips that we could have flown fully paid, he drove which pissed off HR at the Bank. But he was a carboy, not a cowboy -long long drives he loved them. He once got a ticket for parking in a no-parking sign in an empty parking lot in the US. Always defiant. He had to go pay for the ticket and he smiled and said guilty. The judge shook his head and made him pay a much smaller ticket. Who could resist that smile? He saved my life on 9/11 keeping me back in 20 minutes which makes all the difference. He has these superpowers. When crossing the border back into Canada he used to be angry that they cared only about tobacco and alcohol, He used to say drugs and nuclear weapons were okay but tobacco and alcohol – yeah because the government needs taxes for everything.
During a gondola ride in Venice, he asked me if I found the turd patrol romantic laughing hysterically. We won a large bottle of wine in Rome and he asked me how to say we won in Italian. I told him, Abbiamo vinto, He ran around with the big bottle saying that and we were well dressed and gosh he was so handsome, all the people in the square stood and applauded saying Bravo Principeso, Brava Principesa. He sang in Florence – he did not know Italian but played along. He was always a good sport. No one can argue with that. He saw almost every state in the US. He cleaned the pool every day for our elderly neighbor Judie during COVID-19 for 4 years. He cared for everyone but himself. He may be an angel to all of us now but he is my saint.
Fouad went out of his way to help others running to Ahmed if he had an accident. Helping George to the airport Asking about Mahmood’s car at the dealership when we were talking Lexus or Grand Highlander putting Mahmood first. Aiding his family at every request and there are many.
He was proud and dignified and loved to dress well. He had a passion for life and laughter. He could not stay still and was always on the phone with his friends who were his family too. He wore ironed undershirts and jeans and polished his shoes daily (like my Dad). His chest of drawers was so neat, I told him that once on Criminal Minds we saw that level of neatness being either one in the military or a serial killer and he was never in the military. He laughed. He loved that cap with the Gorilla with a play on Guerilla that we all know too well. That was when I ran Wounded Warriors for our troops – the cap said to start a revolution.
He had an Izod shirt tag as a bookmark in my childhood bible. Snoopy is my thing, and sure enough, he put my childhood bookmark next to his when he was reading. Little signs – Always together and always will be together.
I once asked him why there were chopsticks on his nightstand and he said emergency. I asked him who needs chopsticks in an emergency and we both hugged and laughed for a long time. Just silly. If it amused a four-year-old, it likely amused him.
He shopped for sandals with my sister and bored giant holes on the big toe in 6 months. Don’t ask as that was a thing for the two of them and we bought multiple of his favorite shoes. Most recently bedroom shoes that I wear now. He loved animals (except maybe for rabbits). If you do not love animals you are not a friend of ours. Dogs are the best kind of people. He sprayed ants all around the neighborhood so the pupster would not walk on them. He cared for the fish in our pond and was so excited when babies were born. He would show us how they behaved by the waterfall or with the aerator. We planned a lot to do in the golden years that time did not permit. We traveled a lot in the US, Europe, and the Caribbean but there is much to see. Fouad helped his family by assuming brother, uncle, and father roles when his parents passed. We went to Lebanon every year for 14 years and stopped when his parents passed. It was hard with work and responsibilities but he was a faithful son and to his family. Not sure they really appreciate it as no one bothered to attend the funeral or this 40 day prayer. Classy.
He had a silent heart attack and it is cruel that my qalbi died of an attack on his most precious asset. He thought he was invincible but had too much pressure put on him from abroad. A note is going out tomorrow. They earned it. He was weary and God saw and called him home. He was born in Achach May 14, 1965. His dad and mom loved him and he was quite the troublemaker in school. He was always bright but stubborn. Shocker. Eddy was supposed to be the best man at oir wedding. He could not as there was a war and he was a general in the army. As his tank passed by the house, he flashed his torch twice and Fouad and I looked at each other and cried. Thank you, Eddy for your service and tribute to my beloved.
Fufu left Lebanon during the war and went to LSU to study and then to Boston. Lordy lordy. He attended so many live concerts – hard to name. Aerospace, Journey, Foreigner, Duran Duran, Pat Benatar etc. He completed his degree in Mechanical Engineering at Western and moved with me to Toronto and New York City. He loved to dance.
We met when he was working in Aida’s Falafel when we were about 19. He asked me out on a date and we never stopped dating and being in love. Never. Our love story is still being written. It has not ended. It will never end. We had disagreements but never on matters of real consequence. We were married on May 13, 1991 in London in a civil ceremony to live together but married in the Church Dec 1, 2000 in Tripoli. Mon Maroun. He was brought up in a traditional Catholic Maronite faith but wasn’t super religious but that changed with me. Lots of masses at St Peter’s. Hours of discussions and debates. He loved economics and business. He was an engineer and consulted for firms and fought with his dad as he really loved business. He excelled in business. He loved the USS Intrepid, You can see some pictures of us visiting 21 countries in Europe. We planned to do the rest. His friends would tell you that I gave him purpose as he was quite the free spirit when we met. It’s not true. I gave him focus. We gave each other purpose.
We got our darling Gabriel Mikhail on February 19, 2007. He made our lives whole. The word Holy comes from the word Whole and our lives still are whole. Even though he is gone from this physical world, his legacy of love, selfnessness, strength, and perseverance remains. He said when he prayed that he connected. I believe him.
When Gabby passed, Fouad said Gabby is us and we are Gabby. That was the most beautiful thing he ever said to me because it crystalized us. We are our own little mini Holy Trinity and Holy Family. He loved Gabs with his whole heart. They played tricks on one another. If you think animals are like us having dominion over them, read Noahs covenant with the Great flood – it changed.
His parents welcomed me. My family welcomed him with open arms. After all these years, my family knew he wasn’t blood but much deeper – a soul family. He was a champion for women’s rights. He told me that I am President of our House with the US kissing me and waking me up scaring the daylights out of me. He is completely lovable and so much more than a funny dude. He met Margaret Trudeau with me at an event for only 300 Canadians and Gen Wesley Clark. Dined at Chateau Laurier and Rideau Hall. Flew private jets, ate at Rhode Island Mansions, attended US Open when I was on Wall Street, and much more but he and I remain humble. His humility could teach us all and shame us all.
He has been described as a bedrock to all. Steel even. He helped all families navigate difficult times at every beck and call and you don’t know what I speak of and let’s leave it there.
To fully tell you what Fouad means to me is to speak a tongue not yet known to man and only God knows and can understand. He was my best friend, my love, and my life, and will inebriate my soul forever. Fouad is survived by me. Our beloved boy Gabriel passed last year on August 15 – the Feast of the Assumption of Mary. And of course, my precious little family here.
He has four brothers and two sisters. He has several special aunts, Wadiha, Lulu in Australia. We went to university full time and worked full time. Manage that. He and (we) made many sacrifices in our lives for those in Lebanon and abroad. Though he went through a lot, he managed to keep his priorities straight. What can be more important than living your love for God and your family? Not in words but looking after Christ’s sheep which is the point.
There is nothing anyone could ask him that he did not readily say Yes to help. This is Holy. Mary answered, “I am the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me.” It has special meaning to us as part of our trilogy is our Gabby named after the Archangel. The name means Messenger of God. Fouad always answered yes to assist anyone. He is favored in God’s sight and my Mikhail. This is selfless service.
His friend Gus told me that he met Fufu in Boston and Gus needed a job but had no English. Fufu said let’s go look for jobs at Burger King. He spoke to the manager for Gus and told Gus. Good news you got the job. Gus asked him about him. He said no, I did not get the job know my husband. No one would hire someone with no English over someone with English. He would have been asked if only one of you could get the job who would it be and he would say, give it to Gus. Selfless since young. Handsome bugger, Check out the pictures.
I still recall how he looked at me when we first met and the last time a few days before he passed when he told me that my health was all that mattered to him. You can drown in his eyes and the depth of his soul. We prayed every day as a family. I say the Rosary every day and Fufu said it with me on Sunday but we prayed every day together. Special prayers for all not ourselves calling all by name. If only all knew what they meant to him.
In the Catholic tradition, God is the Head of Christ, Christ the head of the Church, and the husband the head of a marriage. I am not exactly a shrinking violet but he would not have it any other way than us being equal. He remains my one and only King and I his Queen. He did everything for me and our families. Down from the simplest of things to the biggest things. I know God’s will must be done but I can’t remember life before you and don’t know what it is if anything without you. He said ‘Thank you’ for the smallest of things. He knew gratitude was the best prayer. I have all those Thank you texts. I am searching and saving voice messages to listen to.
My darling niece Nirvana took me to his grave many times and once I experienced the most beautiful thing. It was beastly cold as I sat in the snow on a folding chair and it felt like our souls danced as in the Aurora Borealis. Only once this happened. Pure Magic, I love him to no end.
Fouad has been described by many as happy. I was always worried that he was not as he tried to make everyone else happy. We had wonderful conversations praying the Rosary as we talked about what each mystery means and yes, he goofed at some things and possible meanings. That is Fufu.
I would like to draw your attention to the Beatitudes and focus on a few.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:3-12)
Servanthood – First, these are eight character traits that identify true servanthood. When all eight are mixed together in a life, balance emerges. These traits open the door to inner happiness and attached to each character trait is a corresponding promise.” Christ holds out a particular benefit for each particular quality. And what great promises they are! My Fouad had all of these. It describes why my Fouad was Happy.
Joyful mysteries (recited habitually on Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays from Advent to Lent)
1. Annunciation (Lk 1,28) – Love of Humility
2. Visitation (Lk: 1,42) – Love of Neighbor
3. Nativity (Lk 2,7) – Spirit of Poverty
4. Presentation (Lk 2,28) – Virtue of Obedience
5. Finding in the Temple (Lk 2, 46) – Virtue of Piety
Sorrowful Mysteries (Said habitually on Tuesdays, Fridays, and every day during Lent)
1. Agony in the Garden (Mk 14,35) – True Contrition
2. Scourging at the Pillar (Mk 15,15) – Virtue of Purity
3. Crowning with Thorns (Mk 15,17) – Moral Courage
4. Carrying of the Cross (Jn 19, 17) – Virtue of Patience
5. Crucifixion (Lk 13, 33) – Final Perseverance
Glorious Mysteries (For Wednesdays and Saturdays, and for Sundays from Easter to Advent)
1. Resurrection (Mk 16,6) – Virtue of Faith
2. Ascension (Mk 16,19) – Virtue of Hope
3. Descent of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2,4) – Love of God
4. Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary – Devotion to Our Lady
5. Crowning of the Blessed Virgin Mary – Eternal Happiness
Luminous mysteries
- The Baptism of Jesus: Submission to God’s will
- The Wedding at Cana: Devotion to Mary
- The Proclamation of the Kingdom: Grace of conversion
- The Transfiguration: Holy fear of God
- The Institution of the Eucharist: Virtue of thanksgiving
Our short lives on earth are a sowing time. Life on earth is the time when the seeds of the risen body are planted. St. Paul says: “What is sown is perishable, but what is raised is imperishable; what is sown is contemptible but what is raised is glorious; what is sown is weak, but what is raised is powerful; what is sown is a natural body, and what is raised is a spiritual body” (1 Corinthians 15:42-44).
Our essential happiness in heaven will be the Beatific Vision, to see God as He is, God who is the source of all goodness and perfection. “Dearly beloved we are now the sons and daughters of God and it hath not yet appeared what we shall be. We know when He shall appear we shall be like Him because we shall see Him as He is.” (I John 3:2)
Poor in Spirit – My Fouad was ‘poor in spirit’ and this speaks to an even deeper reality … not physical poverty … but to true spiritual poverty. Meaning he acknowledged our deepest human need for God and to grow in that longing and that daily dependence. Purity of heart – A gift is pure when it is given from the heart to the right person at the right time and the right place, and when we expect nothing in return. No one purer in heart than my Fouad. He was just good. The best of people.
Time – Eternalism Past, present and future – engineer – mathematically proven with equations. Eternalism is a philosophical theory that all points in time are equally real, including the past, present, and future. It’s a metaphysical view that suggests a static “block” universe model of reality, where entities don’t begin or cease to exist
Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh- I am who I am. I always existed Who do you say I am – I know he loves Christ through his actions
When I broke the five loaves of bread and two small fish, how many breadcrumbs did you take? Blessings
Do you love me? What have you done to show this? – he showed it in spades
Enter the kingdom of God as a child: Be humble – Children are often seen as having no status or power, which contrasts with the disciples’ concerns about greatness. Be trusting – Trust in God assumes his character is good and depends on him for our needs. Be innocent – Children are not perfect, but they have a level of innocence. They are not tainted by the ways of the world. Acknowledge the “child within” Return to those days when your heart was more open to the natural world and to God.
God’s two greatest commandments, “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ‘ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself. ‘ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.
Ranjie – I also miss him very deeply. Never realized how precious he was to all of us. Truly a spiritual gem. One of God’s finest whom we were privileged to know in this life. You were extremely lucky to have lived with an angel disguised as a human. Nb. When I was talking in church, I felt his presence on my shoulder, asking that we look after you. He too loved you very very much. What folks do not know is that on the Thursday after his passing, I nearky chose to join him. My love knew this and is still protecting me. My Mikhail.
The word Apostle is derived from Apostolos Greek, someone who was sent by Christ – a close follower of Jesus. This differs from lesser folks like myself – a mere disciple trying to live like Christ. It is fitting that he passed on the Feast of the Basilicas of Peter and Paul and of the Apostles where I will likely make the one-year prayer pilgrimage with anyone wanting to join in Italy.
Thank you, Habibi for the blessing of a shared life filled with love and devotion that only few will know or know. Thank you for and gift of your life with all our family and for teaching us what servanthood really means. For the gift of your life in each of our lives in whose yours continue to live. Thank you for your stunning beauty, your generosity, your class, your gift of faith, your humour and for all your sacrifices big and small. Thank you for your tears and prayers. No matter what we did or did not do, could or could not do, should and should not do, we could never repay you and for all you did, we are eternally indebted. We love you and are so proud of you. We did not deserve you and we are not worthy. You live in Christ and we will meet again, my darling. Hug our Gabby and all our loved ones. I will miss our deep hugs in the morning and kisses at night after prayers I will miss our million short calls a day to check in on anything and everything. You are my whole life and nothing will change. You are still and will always be my first love, my only love (conjoint with Gabby) and my eternal love. You are now with the angels and one of them.
I will fulfill your dream advocate for Silent heart attacks and continue with our servanthood and good works. I will build your farm and serve Christ. I am now you and Gabby and you and Gabby are me. We are still US – U and S for Shanaz. Stay close to me my love, my Abbo, Rest in Peace, and Live in Eternal Life and Peace with our Living God. Happy First birthday in heaven my love. You were an angel on earth before entering heaven but are now a heavenly angel.