The balance between self-love, self-worth, and honest criticism is one I am still struggling to find especially after losing the two loves of my life in a year. I am sure that many struggle with the same.
First, I believe that we need to learn to view ourselves with understanding and love. Many, like me, struggle to accept who we are. We often feel at odds with ourselves and wish to escape. By taking the time to explore our inner selves, we begin to understand the joy and pain within us. This process helps us accept, love, and care for ourselves. We can achieve this in many ways, meditation, prayer, service to others, music, exercise, reading etc. You do you!
Knowing ourselves is indeed an act of love. When we look deep inside, we uncover the many factors that shaped us. This allows us to embrace both our suffering and joy. Even though some things in our past may not have been as pleasant as we would have liked, there are undoubtedly many blessings we have overlooked. That check and balance would likely show a surplus of blessings.
Accepting ourselves as we are is the first step. Once we do this, we can also accept others. By understanding their experiences, we see how they were shaped too.
People are complex beings. A person may be formed by their ancestors, parents, and society and many other factors but they are also not blameless or hold no accountability for their own actions.
Recognizing the influences in our lives makes it easier to accept and care for those who impacted us and also for our own individual care.
Self-love is valuing and caring for ourselves, and it’s key to finding happiness and strength. However, I often find self-love hard to reach. Some days, I feel confident and proud, while other days, I am overwhelmed by self-doubt. These emotional ups and downs can be challenging and I suspect that Iam not alone.
A distinction became clear: I like myself for how I behave. I am close to loving myself for who I am. More on this below.
Liking ourselves comes from recognizing our actions, such as how we communicate and contribute.
Loving ourselves stems from understanding our true selves and values, and recognizing that we are connected to something greater. For me, God. The Christ.
Confidence can be described simply as liking ourselves and being honest. It combines belief and action, making it easier to show confidence when we truly believe in ourselves.
So, do you like yourself? Liking yourself is part of loving yourself. Loving yourself involves accepting all aspects of who you are.
For some, Love comes easy because it just is natural.
But liking ourselves – that takes some work… It takes disconnecting from what others think of us. And choosing to connect to ourselves. It is often easy in times of difficulty, the irony, I know. It is at these times when we are so reflective of a million things that we may have overlooked or placed on the back burner in the business of life.
It takes looking at our weaknesses and not taking them personally or at least too personally. We have to change and challenge ourselves to let go of toxic behaviors and habits if we are to really grow.
It takes looking at our strengths and choosing to not disempower ourselves because someone or others might not like how good we are, or how excellent we are. How strong we may be as women. How vulnerable we may be as women. Of course, I am not writing this only for women but I am giving insight into my own experience.
It takes one single thought of care, kindness, and appreciation over and over again – compounding this love for the rest of your life. It takes practice. A lot of continued practice.
It will take looking in our own eyes and saying ‘I accept myself unconditionally’. Warts and all. It takes saying ‘I’ve got you, no matter what – I like you and I love you’
It takes defending ourselves, standing up for ourselves, and trusting ourselves to have our backs.
It takes making a new choice every day to be our own life coach, our own cheerleader, our own best friend, lifting your eyes to your vision.
It takes owning our uniqueness and experience that only we have. Our out-of-this-world dreams and visions, our way of blazing our own trail ( you trailblazer you 😉 ), our out-of-the-box thinking, our way of challenging BS and thinking for ourselves in a world that wants us to fit into a box they have designed or their norms where we may not fit nor do we want to fit. That norm is theirs, not ours.
Celebrating the small moments of growth and progress. Feeling gratitude from deep within ourselves.
Giving ourselves space to heal when we struggle with self-acceptance.
Everyone makes mistakes, fails, and has flaws. These imperfections don’t define who we are. They don’t prevent us from practicing self-forgiveness or expressing love and gratitude to ourselves, following the spirit of the Ho’oponopono prayer.
Appreciate yourself because you are enough.
Appreciate yourself because you show you care.
Love yourself deeply and naturally, just as you would without conditions.
Value each moment before it passes.
Life happens now, so trust your heart to guide you.
Here are some signs to try self-love and I am saying this to myself too:
Surround yourself with supportive people.
Prioritize your well-being through healthy eating, exercise, and mindfulness.
Refrain from comparing yourself to others.
Validate your feelings and welcome constructive feedback.
Feel complete.
Practice humility, allowing your inner light to shine and others too
True self-love contrasts with narcissism, which focuses on an inflated self-importance without the need for outside validation.
In Catholicism, self-love is important because it’s believed to be a necessary part of loving God and others:
Self-love is necessary for loving God
St. Thomas Aquinas believed that people can’t love God without first loving themselves.
Self-love is necessary for loving others
The Bible says that love is inseparable from discipline and that loving others requires first loving oneself.
Self-love is a reflection of God’s love
When people receive love from God, they can give it back to themselves and others.
Self-love is a healthy sense of self-worth
A healthy sense of self-worth comes from recognizing that God loves people personally and infinitely.
However, some say that self-sacrifice can be taken too far. Self-sacrifice should be purposeful and promote the welfare of others.
We often focus too much on our strengths or weaknesses. We may feel the pressure to prove ourselves or crave attention. At the same time, we might struggle with feelings of worthlessness, both in front of others and even in God’s eyes.
This situation is contradictory because our true self-worth comes from God’s endless love for us.
Personally, I find a genuine sense of self-worth and happiness when I understand that God created me for a purpose and loves me deeply and personally. And also, when I feel close to all those whom I love oh so very deeply in this life and in the afterlife.
Your thoughts?